Monday Musing
i would write about love. about fear. about writing. about you. about life. about food. about metaphors and musings. prose and poetry. about books and coffee. long lists of wine and restaurants. meandering thoughts about walking through wild. about the ocean. about the things that make us human. about pain and jealousy. about heartache. about anger. about being seen. and always about love.
love in which form? the love we feel between friends who have seen us at our worst. the dark underbelly of love? the love from family that is both painful and wonderful sometimes. the love that keeps us away and the love that keeps us coming back. the love that forces us to cross boundaries for someone else’s happiness. the love the says its okay, i got you. the kind of love that forces you to places you never thought you would go to. the love that hurts. the kind of love the years. the love that spills out of us into the things that we make. the love that permeates the every day. the love that makes us wake up in the morning. the love that challenges. that asks more of us than we thought possible. the love the manipulates. the love that makes us cry. the kind of love that changes you from the inside out. the love that makes you contend with yourself, holds the mirror up to the light to show you every little thing. the love that makes you feel like running away.
maybe its the fear. the fear of being seen by people. the fear of being misunderstood. the fear of being heard. the fear of having no control. fear of people not understanding. fear of having to stand your ground against the people that you love. fear of being misrepresented. the fear of being heard but not understood. of being overlooked and passed over. of being chosen. contradictions. the fear of forgetting and remembering. the fear of coming back to the same thing over and over again. the fear of not trying something new or of stepping out of your comfort zone. the fear of people reading your words and the fear of them not. the fear of missing out or for not even being called to the table in the first place.
amazing the things one can fit in the human body. endless words and novels of emotion and thought. love and fear being two sides of the same coin or maybe twins holding hands moving through the world. a kind of pairing we cannot escape. for when we love, we fear. but perfect love casts out all fear. i have that verse tattooed on my arm as my reminder. for someone who lives in this well of emotion. when both love and fear live close together under my skin, it is my reminder that if the heart, soul, mind and body are so filled with perfect love, then there will be no more room for fear. there will be no more space for it to expand and so we reach outwards into perfect love.
